


Thicker than Peanut Butter, Baby

by azfellbooksellers



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M, Pure Crack, aziraphale tries and fails to use modern slang, crowley is as ever a patient and long suffering husband, yet another short monstrosity born from OLHTS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:35:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23190031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azfellbooksellers/pseuds/azfellbooksellers
Summary: Aziraphale discovers some modern slang. Crowley is....confused, to say the least.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 58





	Thicker than Peanut Butter, Baby

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a silly, ‘blowing off steam’ ficlet during these weird times. I AM working on my other WIP, but it’s an intense and close to home fic, so I did this weekly event in about 20 minutes on OLHT server just to take a quick break from that 💜

“Crowley,” Aziraphale asked, voice thick and slurred with alcohol. “Do you think I’m, you know, ‘dummy thicc’?” 

The angel promptly regretted this when the wine currently residing in Crowley’s mouth moved to his face. He grimaced and miracled it away. 

“Crowley,” he snapped. “That was disgusting!” Crowley, too busy sputtering to reply, remained silent. Aziraphale harrumphed and took a sip of his wine, awaiting the reply.

“Angel,” Crowley said. “Where on EARTH did you hear that phrase?” Aziraphale rolled his eyes and leaned back into his seat.

“On a comment on your instant gram account, dear. You left your cellular on the table, open on a photo of the two of us, and,” he paused to bite his lip. “Well, I grew quite curious as to the response. One of the comments was, and I’m quoting them here, ‘damn, your husband is dummy thicc’.” 

Crowley let out a choked noise.

“So, I turned to the internet, though it did take a while to load, considering the age of my machine,” he continued. “Anyway, apparently it means I am very curvaceous in an attractive way. Do you agree?” 

A long silence stretched between the two of them. Aziraphale felt a coldness pool in the depths of his stomach and a tightening in his throat. 

“Silly me. I had only thought that-“ Aziraphale didn’t get the chance to finish his choked sentence. A pair of thin lips were suddenly pressed to his lips, and a warm and lovely hand was fisted in his hair. 

When they broke apart, Crowley cradled his face tightly and fixed him with an intense gaze.

“Angel,” he said. “Of course I think you are attractive. Haven’t I shown you that nearly every night for some time?” 

A blush formed on Aziraphale’s cheeks, creeping down to flush his chest.

“Yes,” he admitted, nodding.

“Right. I was just...extremely surprised to hear those words come out of your mouth. It’s a very modern phrase, and you still call the Bentley a jalopy when you’re cross with me.” A fond smile tugged at the side of Crowley’s mouth.

“Of course you’re lovely, Angel. Please don’t ever think I could feel differently.” 

Aziraphale leaned forward and captured Crowley’s lips in a languid kiss. He stroked the back of Crowley’s neck and relaxed into the shared embrace. Finally, after he was nearly sated, he pulled away.

“Thank you, Crowley. I am sorry for reacting that way. I was jumping to conclusions, I know your feelings for me.” He placed a chaste kiss on Crowley’s nose. 

“However,” he said. “I would like to hear you say it.” He waggled his eyebrows, knowing exactly how ridiculous it made him look, and exactly how much Crowley loved it. Crowley grinned then, and took a long look up and down Aziraphale’s body.

“Alright, alright. You....you are dummy thicc Aziraphale. There, you happy, you bastard?” The man shaped being in question positively beamed at him in response.

“I am. Very, actually,” he said as he wrapped an arm around Crowley’s waist. “Now, do let me take you to bed, dear.”


End file.
